"just what i needed."
"perfect timing."
"cherry on top."
"bi sen eksiktin."
A couple of 'drying stand' has delivered, one on the garden wall, the other in the garden. I've heard a noise, probably it was way after the midnight.
Delivered but not received.
One night the fuses blown a few months back when the tiny springs to cover the holes decided to pop out of an extension socket for the fridge out of the blue with a freaking sound and the whole house went dark. She never wanted that fridge.
After years, maybe decades; I needed a break of the lame things happen to me all the time and called for help from the God with a very sincere sound. "Help me!" I've heard that you're back in the morning of that day.
The thing is: I'm not sure if she's a curse or a blessing. Seems like a return for my prayer but not sure either it's to torture me more or to heal.
There, the drying stands. I don't need them. And I'm not the one to blame neither because I can think, guess or hope or what fuck so ever nor not tell you what do I make out of it or not.
I'm sure I will not want none of you if somehow I'll stand back up. Because essegin zkinden dolayi.
--
yok. bugunluk bu kadar degil.
anlayamamak.
azeri sarkilari dinliyorum, kalp listemden. o diyor "sana gore" ben, bana gore anliyorum.
cunku anlamamak daha guzel geliyor. anladigimda ici bosalmamis, ya da ici zaten bombos olsa daha iyi olacak ne yok ki...
bu yuzden anlamak istemiyorum bazen. yoksa dusunmeye usenen biri hic olmadim ki. elimde degil dusunmemek. kimsenin degil. bunu biliyorum. yorucu. ama biliyorum ve bundan sikayetci oldugum, memnun oldugumdan azdir.
askimi da oyle anladim ben. kendimce. onunca ya da herkesce degil. oyle ya, yuva bizim olmayacak mi...?
olmayacak.